nothing to be scared of . . . right?
2002-06-18 | 8:45 p.m.

The plans have been made. The forms filled out, the appointment booked, the x-ray taken. I am going to have all four of my wisdom teeth out on July 11. It's a Thursday. I wanted a Friday so that I'd only miss one day of work, but no, the oral surgeon is in the hospital on Fridays. So, Thursday afternoon. I'll go in for work in the morning. No eating, though. Not even gum. Not even water. All day. Apparently this is because of the happy drugs I'm being charged upwards of $300 for. (I'm trying not to be disturbed by the fact that more time was spent discussing my dental insurance than the actual surgery.)

And despite my dad's doom-gloom-and-excruciating-pain predictions (he waited about a decade to have his wisdom teeth out, and they were badly impacted), I'm not worried about the surgery itself. The surgeon looked at my x-rays and said the swelling would be minimal, I probably wouldn't even need stitches, blah blah blah, reassuring things. No, it's the whole happy-drugs thing that has me freaked out. I was told that the anesthesia would relax me, maybe put me to sleep, make me pretty much unaware of what was going on, prevent me from feeling any pain, the usual happy-drugs stuff. Altered state of consciousness. Like, completely there from moment-to-moment, but unable to remember much of it after a few minutes. (Like being really, really drunk, but without the singing?)

I've never been put under for anything before. I've never taken anything (other than beer and vodka) that noticeably altered my brain functions. And the whole concept of being put under has me terrified. They gas me, and then I'm unconscious, or else off in wonderland, while they cut my face open and yank out some teeth? I have this terrible fear of not being in control of things. What if something goes wrong? What if... what if... what if...

Maybe if I mentally relate it to booze, it won't seem so bad. Yah, I'll try that.

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I didn't want to say this outright, but why does nobody sign my guestbook anymore? What, are you all too good for the book now? Huh? Is that it? Well, fine!

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