constructive criticism
2006-04-20 | 1:22 a.m.

Today I had a startling revelation about one way in which I've really, really changed over the past few years.

I've gotten better at taking criticism.

No, seriously. So long as it's fair and constructive, and doesn't come totally out of nowhere, I can take it now. I even almost like it.

Today I got a call from the partner I worked with on a project where we developed a lesson plan for a hypothetical child with a speech sound disorder. Our professor's comments on all of the lesson plans were posted sometime yesterday, or maybe this morning, and my partner was upset about our review. She thought it was depressingly harsh. So, I opened it up to take a look.

Wow, I thought. Those are really good comments!

I mean, yeah, she did totally rewrite our third activity, but her version was way better than ours.

And besides, she did warn us that she was going to rip into our lesson plans, and that of course she was going to find a lot to criticize -- we've never done this before! No one gets it quite right on their first attempt!

But my reaction, my very first initial reaction, being so different from my partner's -- that surprised me. I've always thought of myself as a person who runs and hides from any sort of criticism at all.

And then I remembered the respective reactions I and a different partner had to the same prof's reaction to a report we had written.

Me: Jeez, that's a lower grade than I would have liked. The comments are fair, though, I guess.

My partner: She hated our report!

Okay, look. I know how this sounds. I sound like I'm trying to make myself out as being somehow better at this kind of thing than my two partners. And that is so not the point I'm trying to make.

For one thing, I still can't take it face-to-face. I cannot and will not even try to deny that. I may or may not be better at it than I used to be. I really can't be sure either way.

But no, my point was that I used to cringe away in fear at the sight of red-penned comments on my work. Now I hunt for them. I thrive on them. That's a change. A good one.

And do you know who I credit for it?

Why, the good people at Forward Motion, of course.

There is no doubt in my mind that it was my getting serious about writing that led to this.

I've learned the value of a good crit. I look at a story I've written, before and after the critiques, and I can see how much better the edited version is.

I've written crits. I know how much work goes into them, and that the person doing the critting is, most of the time, genuinely trying to help you improve your work and doesn't think less of you for having put together something that's less than perfect.

So, should anyone ever question whether there's any value in encouraging someone to pursue the ridiculous dream of writing schlocky paperback fantasy ... well, there's one value right there.

All my life, I've wished for a thicker skin.

Writing has given me that.

That can only be a good thing.

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