showing up is half the battle
2006-09-19 | 6:23 p.m.

As a Post-Graduate Students Society council member, I was not required, but, shall we say, strongly encouraged to attend last week's committee recruitment night, when representatives from the various PGSS and McGill administration, governance, and student services committees descend on Thomson House to get people to sign up.

I went because, as a council member, I felt like I should be there, and because, as the rep for my class, I wanted to be there if any of them showed up.

None did.

I had no intention of signing up for any committees. But they wooed me with free samosas and beer, and the next thing I knew, I was nominating myself for a seat on one of the student services committees.

It's one relevant to my field, although why they were specifically trying to recruit a med student, a nursing student, and a PT/OT student, but not SLP students, is beyond me. I'm a rehab specialist, too, dammit! Stupid physios and OTs, hogging all of the recognition. *grumble*

I have no idea if anyone else put themself forward for the spot I did. I have no idea, if anyone did, what field that person might be in. There's a chance I won't get the spot. There's also a chance I will, only to discover that I don't know jack about serving on an advisory committee. In fact, I don't need to discover that. I already know that I don't know jack about sitting on an advisory committee.

But...

But I need to learn about this stuff sometime. After all, less than a year from now, I'm going to be a licensed health care worker, needing to get out there and advocate for my department and my clients.

But I really want to mingle with people in other, related disciplines. We're so isolated up at Beatty Hall.

But I once made use of the same service I'd be working for (well, okay, the Carleton equivalent, but you get the point), and it did a lot for me. I think it would be a good and decent thing for me to give back in some way.

The committee only meets a couple of times per year. Maybe even only once. I really think I can spare the time.

If I get the spot, well, I can learn. Learn by doing. And if not, well, that's less work for me to do.

This isn't something I desperately want, but I think it would be good for me, and not just for the reasons I listed above.

It would be good for me in the same way that being a council member is likely to be good for me.

I'm a smart kid. I don't say that to show off. Rather, I'm trying to point out something about me-- namely, that most of the things I've done in my life, I've been able to succeed at without putting myself too much on the line. In almost everything I've done, I started out with a reasonable, fairly realistic expectation that, so long as I did an average amount of work, I would succeed.

I have no idea if I have what it takes to sit on student government or a student services advisory committee. I've never done anything like it, ever, and most of the people I'm meeting up with have a fair bit of experience.

In short, I'm terrified.

Because, the truth is, I have a (maybe perfectly normal, maybe not) fear of failure.

And if I don't take risks like this, I'm never going to get over it.

So, bring it on! I'll be the one in the back of the room, looking slightly green with fear ... but I'll be there.

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