paranoia
2006-12-13 | 4:56 p.m.

I've been crazy busy the past few weeks. Mind-bogglingly, breakdown-inducingly, oh-crap-my-stress-induced-skin-problems-are-coming-back busy.

I'm almost entirely on top of things now. Got my practicum paperwork done and handed in. Got my in-class exams finished, take-home exam done and handed in, lab assignment ready to go after a few quick edits, lab hours almost entirely caught up on, Christmas shopping finally started... only a few things left to do.

Like get the Mental Health Services report read so that I can (maybe) go to a meeting on Friday... that's if the rest of the team ever gets back to me.

Like a priming study I agreed to do tomorrow.

Like my Fluency assignment.

Like two more lab hours and the rest of my Christmas shopping.

Like pack to go home.

It's all good, really. It's do-able.

But when I got an email yesterday from that friend of mine, saying we should get together before heading out for the holidays, I wanted to scream. Call me this late, and I'm not going to be able to find the time. Then when I talked to him today, he said, oh, he can't get together this week anyway, because he's got some family visiting.

So why even ask? Seriously.

I'm probably just being paranoid. But I realize now (because this sort of thing has happened before) that my faith in this particular friend is gone. No matter how sincere he seems when he says he wants to hang out, I can't quite believe he means a word of it anymore.

And I know, he probably does. It's not deliberate. I'm sure it's not.

That doesn't change the fact that it feels that way.

*Sigh*

I wish I knew what to do about it all.

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